12 02 2008

Accessorization, in hipster fashion, holds paramount importance. Clothes don’t make the man. Trinkets, affixed bric-a-brac, do. Books hanging out of pockets. Ironic stickers. Buttons. Dogs with The Smiths t-shirts on.

Now, in terms of accoutrements, with the rising tide of craft brewing, few things speak to a person’s personality as emphatically as do microbrews. And thus,

Microbrews To Adorn the Modern Hipster:

I Liked These Guys Before Anybody Else Did English Bitter

Boys Don’t CrIPA


Fixed-Gear Bicycleweisse

Essentially Empty Yet Always Present Messenger Baggleywine

Almost Stout of the Closet

All of My Friends are White Ale

So What! If I Messed Up Your Starbucks Order Porter

Rummage Sale Pale Ale

I Don’t Really Like This But I’m Drinking It To Get Back at My Parents And/Or Friends With an Overt and Vulgar Display of Being Cultured Lambic

I Am Entirely Fucking Done With Society Because it is Run By Corrupt and Criminally Exploitative Man-Machines Who Don’t Give One Shit for Anyone or Anything Except for Money and Power Light Lager

Sleeping Pillsner




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