Goldberg Hour

6 09 2007

Jon and the Transportation-Based Game Show

Last night, Mr. Jon Goldberg (below…right)

Men in charge

gives me a call at 10 p.m. in what seemed to be quite a precarious position, telling me to be around my phone sometime in the next half-hour, that I might have to pick him up because he was ‘in a bind.’ He used the ‘in a bind’ term a few times, so you could tell he was in Sell Mode. Which is to say SERIOUS MODE.

Now, John’s good at Sell Mode. But last night, a few things worked against him. These are they:

1 – I don’t have a car in the city, and thus picking him up may have required the Fireman’s Carry or, at most well-equipped, a large backpack.

2 – He was on the Upper East Side. No one is ever in a non-tax-related bind on the Upper East Side.

3 – He had told me earlier in the night that he needed me to be around my phone because he was going to be on Cash Cab.

The third one was the biggest tip-off. And perhaps the most unfortunate — it turns out that the Cash Cab is only half-spontaneous. Some preparations go into it, for both the rider and his phone-a-friend (is that what it’s called?). But ask John about it for more heart-smotheringly disappointing revelations.

So between the hours of 10 and 10:30 p.m., Greenwich Village Time, I had to stick around my phone. The call came somewhere in that time…and the question was:

WHAT IS THE LONE INGREDIENT IN A CHURCHILL MARTINI?

(Don’t Google it)

He says that the episode’s airing in October. Wait for it to see him yelling at me for backing out of my first answer and giving him a second, wrong, one that he didn’t end up going with for good reason.

He went into the Video Bonus Round up a damn good amount. He ended up with either double that or no money at all. But whatever the outcome, the night ended splendidly, with an ever-more inebriated jaunt down Ludlow Street, from Spitzer’s (small beer-hall-type place with about 40 beers on tap) to the Local 138.

I woke up at noon today. Herra.

——-

And thanks to John for alerting us to this credit to humanity, which means a discredit to Carlos Mencia. For impossibly confusing reasons, Mencia is not seen by the Hispanic and earth communities as a source of unprecedented embarrassment.

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4 responses

6 09 2007
Lipka

Dude! JOHN Goldberg? He’s not a disciple of Jesus, for G-d’s sake — he’s a Jew!

6 09 2007
Techwiz

Had the Yankees game been a blowout last night I probably would’ve been drinking around where you were. My brother’s friend knows a bartender at Boss Tweed’s on Essex.

And Carlos Mencia has also stolen from Sam Kinison and Eddie Murphy. Pretty ridiculous. You can find the proof all over YouTube.

7 09 2007
scheity

Double-typo. He’s in the phone as Jon, but booze has made me lazy

7 09 2007
Nick

Damnit…I wanna be in the cash cab. I’d be awesome at that shit, last night’s trivia trainwreck at Ts nonwithstanding.

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